I look at all the.....

In my recent boredom I have discovered online MadLibs. For your reading pleasure here is one replacing the lyrics of Eleanor Rigby.

Ah, look at all the sultry swans!
Ah, look at all the sultry swans!

Jane Auxemburrow picks up the taco in a Germany where a Bar mitzvah has been.
Tickle in a VCR.

dining at the monster, wearing the mongoose that she keeps in a thumb by the penis. Who is it for?

All the sultry swans, where do they all come from?
All the sultry swans, where do they all dance?

Anutha Mutha Hike - Who

The Escape

Twines of dark nylon
Taught and numerous they strain
Steel bird from human

Never will it be
Cleanliness is hopeless
But yet they still try

Over red sunset
But under mass of black clouds
They pull the black strings

Bring it to the ground!
They shreek in their noble tongues
Pull it from the bath

Fire, smoke, eject
Vibrating the earth it falls
Rejoice until next

How do you spell HI KOO?

Smooth comfortable
Lust breathes through the trap door fast
Animal urges

Dream #8999 - Moshpits and John Adams

I'm really trying to fill in the gaps on this one

So from what I can remember I was working some kind of festival and there was some very heavy moshing going on. The captain of the police came to me and gave me the keys to the police station and instructed me to go back into town and grab this armored car that could help. He told me not to be persuaded or bribed, and there was a long discussion between the cops on whether he should give them to me or not.

Before I could leave I was looking for my hat which was red and just said Tsunami on it in white letters, but someone had stolen it. (I know another tsunami theme)

This is where I don't quite remember the transition but in between then and now I went to lollapalooza and ran into a bunch of old highschool friends, went to a slumber party where everyone wore dinosaur costumes and it got busted by the cops.

Anyways here's the finale. I was in the house that looked like mine but it wasn't. The floors were hard wood and it was old and dusty. I walked up the old stair and this tiny person runs up to me. She was an old woman that was about 2 feet tall. Her hair was silver and she wore blue glasses. She was rail thin except for her enourmous head which was larger than mine. I was little startled by this grandma creature running around so I jumped back. She said "Hello my name is Samuel Adams".
"John Adams or Samuel Adams?", I said.
"I'm sorry I meant John Adams", she responded. (This for some reason was an ongoing arguement in the dream where me and my friends argued over the historical significance of Samuel Adams vs. John Adams.

So John Adams told me that she was glad I was there because I could help handcuff this case she had to the tv stand that was in front of me. She dashed off to find the handcuffs. While she was gone there was a tiny one inch version of her (identical in every way except size) trying to climb a candle stick. I asked her what time it was and she said she would have to ask her mom. I asked her if that other woman was her mother, which obviously it was. But she got all shy and disappeared into a drawer.

Dream # 49 Bears, Flight Attendants, and Tsunamis

My girlfriend and I owned a family of bears which we kept in my parents' closet. There was a father, a mother, and three cubs. One day while I was taking a cub out to give him a bath the father mauled me. I hit him with the bear stick that their previous owner had given me and turned him into a smaller bear. Later that day I went for a ride with two flight attendants in a hybrid mix of a bright green voltzwagon beetle and a pick up truck. I did these impressions of an old man that they thought was hilarious. We then went to the water park which closed early because a giant black lingering storm cloud turned into a frozen tsunami wave.

Dream #1789 The Pool

I was invited to a late night pool party at an old friend's house from high school. The friend was never specified. When I arrived at the party, however, the bouncer said i was too drunk to come in and that I would drown if I tried to swim, even though I could see empty kegs floating in the pool beyond the golden fence. So being drunk and discouraged I wandered around with a 40 in my hand going through all the sprinklers that I could.

Dream #3409981 Lector

Hannibal Lector and I were having dinner and he was making me incredibly uncomfortable. There was this unspoken understanding that he was my friend and he would never kill me, but still something about the way he was talking to me made me kind of suspicious. Just when he started getting extra creepy my drunk uncles came in and caused a scene. Then it turned into a party and Hannibal was stalking and lurking the unsuspecting guests. I tried to brush it off like nothing was going on. So then after forgetting about it I went into a back bedroom to change into my bathing suit and Hannibal walked in right after me.... "Oh my God, " I thought. This is where he's going to kill me. "Whoops, my bad", he said and slammed the door closed.

I'm sorry

Dear readers,

I apologize to all of you for not updating for well over a couple years. orrrr months? Either way I've been in a coma of regularity for too long and have not been confused or disorientated the way I should be.

From now on this blog shall be hot. Like hotter than the burn you get when you aren't wearing a shirt and you eat a cheese hot pocket too fast and a piece of it falls on your chest. That's right. That hot. We're going to experiment with a few new things and a few old things.

To make up for my absence, I bring you Dream Evil - The Book of Heavy Metal

The most devoted Swedish metal band that seem to have the right idea but have not quite exactly.....done it well. You'll see what I mean

I hope this patches up and hard feelings readers, and maybe we can just be friends for awhile before we go back to...ya know.

Love Always
Death Taco